I hope to post more often... but here is the latest and greatest.
As you will see... this is our number one priority. Everything else really does not matter that much... Nova's future will be bright in whatever form that means!
Debra and I recently concluded that the whole "school outside of school" needs to stop. It is just too much for her. Our
child's general happiness is more important. Building a strong sense of self worth and understanding the importance of family values is simply more important. The time is better spent letting her be happy with who she is, within limits, is the best course. Nova will work on school seven days a week, but for no more than 2 hours on any given day. We are eliminating school work beyond that level at home and will pick up 4 hours on weekends when she can devote more energy. The fight is not over, but if her grades fall off without the
additional support at home (remember we were spending 3-4 hours daily...) so be it.
Debra and I are reading much more now in plain view. Nova asks me about it... I say. My response is this... "You must learn to read to know sweetie... there is a whole world of knowledge, but I can't tell you about it. You have to do it for yourself." Of course, I give her small captions from the stories and if we goes to sit down on her own... we are there to support. It is working - to some degree...!
The whole child psychology thing is not my strength... but it will become mine if it means Nova gets a fighting chance. Debra is still the pillar of
strength... I will assume the role of teacher. Nova cannot play games with me... I tend to see right through my own mind. Nova gets time to do her homework. Nova has unlimited questions to ask me... I ask tons of questions of her... Nova must choose to embrace this. After the 3rd failed attempt to show any dedication to her work or focus on the task at hand... I write on the paper the amount of time spent and my acceptance of his effort. (Lately... she has been going back to school with
HW grades that match her test grades.) My feeling on this... why cheat her of anything at home. If she fails with me... at home like she does in school... why force feed the right answers... she does not learn that way anyway... You cannot force knowledge on someone who is resisting it.
I need to put my humility aside and get comfortable with who my daughter is... not judge her or hope she is something she is not. I have ignored my focus on the negative. I embrace her success, albeit practically non-existent, and when she does get the right answer I try to underscore... just how great it he effort was.... and the results.
Again... Mike and Maddie are doing great. Nova is helping them with their work which is almost at the same level. Nova is really comfortable with
pre-k work level. It is very hard to admit it, but that is the case. Try to show her below level material (forget on level material) and she simply cannot do it. There is something there... I will figure it out. I am seriously considering home schooling. If I had the time... I'd do it. I am investigating what that would mean... from a financial perspective. The scary thing is... if I could get the numbers to work.... I'd do it to be sure Nova has a bright future. Her education or lack thereof is my top priority. I cannot afford a Tudor. I cannot afford to do nothing. I will not accept that fact she can't or does not have the aptitude. The school has already tested her several times... we have paid for professional evaluations for Doctors. Nobody has a clear answer. The reports are all the same... bright, energetic, has trouble focusing on the task at hand... and no it is not ADD or any 3 letter condition. This is about a choice Nova is making in her mind.
